Many believe that freedom means the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want. When applied to sexuality this remains true; freedom means nothing is off-limits no matter what, when, or with whom.
In the real world, however, this proposal isn’t freedom; it’s anarchy. Imagine if our government decided that to allow its people to be “free” it abolished all laws so anyone could do anything they wanted, however they wanted, to whomever they wanted. Can you imagine the chaos? The function of government would be destroyed.
If you have a job or are a student, imagine how effective your company or education would be if you and your peers did whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. The effectiveness of your organization would be ruined.
What makes sex different?
What does it mean to be free? It doesn’t mean the freedom to do whatever we want; our desires are often way out of synch with what’s best for us. I propose that freedom means that we match our desires to the law; then we are free.
For example, do I need a law telling me not to put my hand on a hot burner? No, I have no desire to do that! I don’t need a law telling me not to harm my family; I have no desire to do that. Unfortunately some people do need that law; and that’s the purpose of the law.
Jesus said he came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it (Mt 5:17). If I am a student and all I want to do is talk to my classmates I need a rule (law) requiring me to be quite for the good of the other students. If my goal is to learn then I don’t need a law telling me to be quiet. I am “free” of the law because I have no desire to break it.
This is true freedom.
Is an alcoholic who can’t say “no” to a drink free; even if he can drink as often as he likes? No, he isn’t free; he is a slave to addiction. Is a person who can’t say “no” to sex free if he removes all limits on sex? No, he’s simply a slave to an addiction.
Conforming our wills through the grace of God is the only door to freedom.